10 Inches On Remorse
by x-Beyond-x-Reproach-x
Summary: Draco Malfoy, child of Death Eater's and followers of Lord Voldermort, the time has come to let it all out, to show his hand to the person he expects to care least. P/C, N/S, S/F.


Disclaimer: I have not nor ever will own any rights to Harry Potter, I am but a lowly fan

Disclaimer: I have not nor ever will own any rights to Harry Potter, I am but a lowly fan.

**Ten Inches On Remorse**

Draco stared down at the parchment set before him, the ornate black writing seemed stupid in comparison to the content of the letter.

Pleading words written in a powerful hand did nothing to change the outcome.

He read it over one last time, trying to get the thought's a feelings he had put into those words to make sense to him, he had not thought much about what he was writing until it was written, he had just let it all out, let it all out to the last person he would expect to care.

Harry,

I know you do not want to hear from me, and I don't really even expect you to have read this far, the likely hood is you have thrown this letter into the fire unopened.

But in case you have not, in case you are actually interested in the story I have to tell, I have penned it down for you here, I just hope you kind find something to help you in these words.

I must explain to you Harry, my side of the story, why I did what I did and why I did not refuse what was asked of me.

Imagine you where me Harry, just for a moment imagine that our roles where reversed, that from the very beginning I was brought up under the teachings of the Dark Lord, from the moment I was born to the moment he came back to power I was being taught to obey him, taught to believe in what he wanted, to do what he asked.

My parents never really believed him gone, it would have been foolish of them to think him dead, even now my father will not accept that he will not return, I do not see them anymore, but I digress, imagine you where me and that your parents lives where being threatened by a man whom you had been brought up to believe was nothing short of a god, imagine the conflicting emotions, the love I felt for my parents and the respect…no, the fear I felt of Lord Voldermort.

I realise that my parents put themselves at risk when they joined with the Dark Lord, but it made no difference to me, whatever they had done they where my parents, the only ones I ever had.

That is why I never questioned Voldermort, Harry, which is why I gave him what he wanted to the best of my ability.

For the last three years of school I lived in fear, fear that my true feelings would one day be discovered and that my role of keeping my parents safe would no longer be needed.

I was always wishing for you to win Harry, no matter what I did or said to you during that time, please no that you where the one I wanted to come out victorious, there where many times that I wanted to help you, so many times I could have given you information from the inside, but I could not and for that I am sorry, I was weak as a wizard and as a man but I still felt that I did what anyone else in my position would do.

I almost hope that you can understand that I would have done anything to save my parents, I would have given my life to spare theirs and I hope that you would have done the same in my position, I know you have a kind heart Harry and I cannot believe for a second that you would not.

Over the past years I have come to realise that we are more alike than I had ever imagined, I followed Voldermort's order and your Dumbledore's.

Your parent's died when your where born, mine when they would not accept that demise of the Voldermort, I could not understand it Harry, they had wanted to be apart from the Dark Lord for over a year before you finally killed him, and once they where free from him, almost instantly they wanted him back.

It is not widely known but they where trying to gather the Death Eaters, hoping to attack again when they would be lest expected, they nearly did it too.

I do not know if you will remember the raid some months after the final battle, 75 of the remaining Death Eaters captured in one go, I was spared from the kiss by the Aurors and the ministry because I was the one that told them about the gatherings, the meetings and the plans.

They checked my memory Harry, checked through almost my entire life; it took days and days to fish out the clearest memories.

I tell you this hoping that it will go some way to gaining your forgiveness, the ministry finally believed that I was not a Death Eater when they came to the final battle, they believed that I was forced to do what I did and the proof came when I hex Bellatrix, no one noticed it during the battle and I have kept this information to myself for all these years, it was in fact a hex that I got from your now brother in law I believe.

I had spent most of the battle deflecting spells from other students and parent's, holding them off without fighting back, and once they had realised I was no longer a threat and had moved on I was weak and almost ready to give up, that was when I saw Bellatrix, her laugh has always made my skin crawl and strangely enough that is what came to mind when I cast the spell, just shutting up that maddening laugh.

I cast a slug-vomiting spell against her, it was weak and she wasn't expecting it, she didn't feel it and I doubt it helped Mrs Weasley win, but I tried.

I apologise if this is not what you wanted to hear, I do not want your pity… I just wish to give you my side; I will leave you now Harry Potter… live well.

Draco straightened up, his back cracked in several places, he doubted Harry would be able to decipher any meaning from the words he had put down, but he did not think Harry would read it anyway, so what did it matter?

A/N: I know this is slightly rambling but it's just a story off the top of my head and has had very little editing done, like my previous story 12 Stories Low it was written in about an hour and has had no real editing done to it, I have noticed many problems with the letter portion of the fix but have decided to leave them in, this is meant to be the desperate ramblings of a very emotionally unstable and confused man so I think it works out quite well lol, enjoy! Please read and review, thanks.


End file.
